Last evening on Real Time with Bill Maher, the HBO host conveyed throughout this week’s “New Rule” phase his disappointment within the notion that conservatives look like out-partying liberals. After presenting a slew of previous and current political scandals involving intercourse and medicines, Maher pleaded with Democrats to cease being the “fun-suckers” and to begin doing extra medication and having extra intercourse in order that Republicans can get again to being the conservative “stick-up-your-a**” occasion.
“Republicans can’t spend decades chastising liberals for being too permissive about sex and drugs, and then be completely silent about Matt Gaetz,” Maher mentioned with a smirk on his face. He then laid out particulars of the continuing scandal involving the Florida congressman, particularly these reviews which have described unlawful drug use and the hiring of prostitutes for illicit resort events.
“Okay. Wild hotel suite parties — that’s our thing,” Maher mentioned with joking displeasure. “Democrats are the party of free love and fun and forgetting where you parked your car. Republicans cannot be the conservative, stick-up-your-a** party, and then take our drugs and f**k our women.”
Maher challenged that America “works best like a mullet. Republicans do business in the front. Democrats party in the back,” citing rumors that JFK allegedly had nude pool events within the White House throughout his presidency. “Now the politician who comes closest to carrying on that legacy is Matt Gaetz? No.”
Maher then referenced the previous Republican congressional chief John Boehner, who “now sells pot for a living.”
“My old job,” he mentioned laughingly.
He additionally reminded his viewers of how Republican congresswoman Marjorie Taylor Green is “reportedly into polyamorous tantric sex” and Ashli Babbitt (the capitol insurrectionist who died throughout the Jan. 6 conflict) “turns out to have been in a ‘throuple’ with her husband and another woman.”
“If it was fun, Republicans were against it. They got apoplectic over Clinton getting a blowjob. They invented abstinence-only education. Mitt Romney has never seen himself naked,” Maher added. “John Ashcroft, I’m not kidding, once covered the tits on a statue. Rick Santorum wears a sweater vest! Newt Gingrich once said, quote: ‘Democrats were the party of total hedonism, total exhibitionism, total bizarreness, total weirdness.’ Well, on a good night I suppose.”
“We need to restore the natural order of things,” insisted Maher. “I don’t want to live in a world where liberals are the uptight ones and conservatives do drugs and get laid. Once upon a time the Right were the ones offended by everything. They were the party of speech codes and black lists and moral panics, and demanding some TV show had to go. Well now that’s us. We’re the fun-suckers now.”
Maher whined about liberals being those who now “suck the fun out of everything. Halloween. The Oscars. Childhood. Twitter. Comedy. It’s like woke kids on campus decided to be all the worst parts of a Southern Baptist. And that’s wrong — because it’s cultural appropriation.”
The late evening comedian and political pundit expressed his perception that many celebrated Democrats from the previous had very attention-grabbing (and enjoyable) non-public lives, however “Democrats are now the party that can’t tell the difference between Anthony Weiner and Al Franken.”
He then introduced up former congresswoman Katie Hill to drive his level house. Hill, “like Ashley Babbit was found to be in a throuple, and pictured holding a bong, and that was too much for our new puritanical Democratic party. Quite the opposite: This should be our logo.”
“We’re the throuple people! The bong people! The tantric sex gurus. Not f—in’ Matt Gaetz, us,” Maher mentioned as he concluded his rant. “We did f**king in the mud, and bra burning, and turn on and tune in and drop out. They’re the party who won’t bake wedding cakes for gay people.”
“It’s time to switch back. Because frankly, you’re not good at being us, and being you sucks,” he mentioned.
You can take a look at the complete video above and catch new episodes of Real Time with Bill Maher on Fridays at 10 p.m. EST.
Michael is a music and tv junkie eager on most issues that aren’t an entire and whole bore. You can observe him on Twitter — @Tweetskoor