All of Chrissy Teigen is sorry.
The mannequin, 35, returned to Instagram with a lengthy message to apologize for her past cyberbullying of Courtney Stodden, amongst others, on Monday. The submit can also be available to read on Medium.
“Hi all. It has been a VERY humbling few weeks,” she started. “I know I’ve been quiet, and lord knows you don’t want to hear about me, but I want you to know I’ve been sitting in a hole of deserved global punishment, the ultimate ‘sit here and think about what you’ve done.’”
“Not a day, not a single moment has passed where I haven’t felt the crushing weight of regret for the things I’ve said in the past,” she continued. “As you know, a bunch of my old awful (awful, awful) tweets resurfaced. I’m truly ashamed of them. As I look at them and understand the hurt they caused, I have to stop and wonder: How could I have done that?”
She then addressed her bullying of Stodden, who now makes use of they/them pronouns, saying, “I’ve apologized publicly to one person, but there are others — and more than just a few — who I need to say I’m sorry to. I’m in the process of privately reaching out to the people I insulted. It’s like my own version of that show ‘My Name is Earl!’ I understand that they may not want to speak to me. I don’t think I’d like to speak to me. (The real truth in all of this is how much I actually cannot take confrontation.) But if they do, I am here and I will listen to what they have to say, while apologizing through sobs.”
Stodden, 26, accused Teigen of telling them to kill themselves in private DMs after publicly tweeting that Stodden ought to “take ‘a dirt nap.’” Teigen publicly apologized to Stodden in May, however Stodden claimed they never heard from her privately.
Teigen continued her essay by acknowledging that she was a “troll” on social media whose habits was uncalled for.
She defined, “In reality, I was insecure, immature and in a world where I thought I needed to impress strangers to be accepted. If there was a pop culture pile-on, I took to Twitter to try to gain attention and show off what I at the time believed was a crude, clever, harmless quip. I thought it made me cool and relatable if I poked fun at celebrities.”
“Now, confronted with some of the things that I said, I cringe to my core,” she admitted. “I’ll honestly get sharp, stabbing pains in my body, randomly remembering my asshole past, and I deserve it. Words have consequences and there are real people behind the Twitter handles I went after. I wasn’t just attacking some random avatar, but hurting young women — some who were still girls — who had feelings. How could I not stop and think of that?”
She then confessed she needed to be higher for her daughter Luna, 5, and her son Miles, 3.
“John tells me almost every day how much our daughter Luna reminds him of me,” she wrote. “Every day, I try to make sure she’s all the best parts of me, all the things I aspire to be all the time, but fail at sometimes. And we preach kindness to her and Miles every chance we get. Will they eventually realize there is some hypocrisy there? I certainly do. But I hope they recognize my evolution.”
She added, “My goal is to be so good that my kids will think this was all a fairy tale. Not the fake good. The good that has the best intentions, the good who wakes up wanting to make her friends, family, her team and fans as happy as possible. The good who will still fuck up in front of the world but rarely, and never not growing only more good from it.”
Her husband — and “All of Me” singer — John Legend merely commented “❤️❤️❤️❤️” on her Instagram submit.
She concluded the message by asking for “patience and tolerance” as he works on herself by remedy and different avenues.